Rewind 1

Auctioneers are proof that white guys can rap if they wanted to.

That's the best line I have heard all day. It's a lot better than the analysis I'm hearing on The Worldwide Leader about Chip Kelley's offense. They played fast the first half...blah blah blah...yeah, but then they played less the second half and almost blew it.

I think I am going to treat Rewinds this year like Amendola treats football games. One really good one a season. 3 - 4 other mediocre ones then sit out the rest.

Stat of the week, Danny Amendola has missed 20 of his last 33 games. If he went to school with us I would be telling him, "if you don't come to the games, you're not going to play." Guess who's fantasy team he is on.

Weekly Winner

Uncle Matty is picking up right where he left off last season. The Defending and 2-Time overall champion of K&S Flagship Pick'em continues to prove that he isn't nearly as ignorant as he looks. A big Week 1 performance however doesn't end up with cold hard cash because Pres (KoKo) K came storming back on Monday night to let us show off the new "Roll Over" rule. So, while I am declaring Week 1 Winner to be Uncle Matty there is now double the weekly prize up for grabs for us all in Week 2.

Pick of the Week

I know that KoKo K was proud to see his Dolphins pull off the upset week 1. I doubt he was as excited though as Stevie the Seahawk was. Stevie SeaHawk along with Uncle Matty either just clicked the wrong button or they really are in love with Mike Wallace. These kinds of games between two continual bottom feeding teams are so hard to pick but give big results when you're as connected as Stevie SeaHawk is.

Surviving the Season

Don't get cute. At least don't get so cute that you pick a team with a guy named Lavonte David on it. I surveyed the league and saw Geno Smith starting for the circus in NY so I reasoned within myself and thought, "Chairman, when else will Tampa have an easier game this year? Save Indy, Houston and New England for later in the season." Then enter a defensive player named Lavonte David. Just google that name and the first page will show you plenty of reason that you should never roll with a team with Lavonte David on it. Lavonte David has put me down but not out. No one actually had an easy win but you all won nevertheless because you didn't pick Lavonte David's team.

My Fantasy Life

Computers are taking over the world. They are becoming self aware and they are fooling us very well. For instance, Red Beard was given a draft grade of "A" by some computer software program that made him feel good about himself. Now this same software computer villain graded Chairman's draft a "C+". Now, we all know that Chairman dominated week 1 and is in first place where he belongs. Red Beard is last and is wondering if he should quit. So, let's all do an I-Robot and go back to the basics where we take control of these machines before they control us.
Red Beard don't listen to the machines and don't worry it's a long season. Here's some help, from a human. Drop a defense, you don't need 3. Drop the Milledgeville Bandit, he's a danger to your team as much as he is to GC&SU coeds. Pick up some of the guys endorsed in this link. You're welcome.

Tips for Winning, At Life
Ask your next vacation rental for a list of channels on the cable in the condo. You can do all kinds of planning. You can cut your cable in the summer because it's a football dead season. You can plan you family vacation for Week 1 of the NFL season so you can catch all the games including the 2 ESPN Monday Night Football Games (Dunh Dunh Dunh Dunh) even without paying for cable. But if you don't get NFL Network then you're not watching the Thursday night game. So, while you're google imaging the building your staying in and you're street viewing the place your going to and while you're reading angry previous guest reviews, take a moment and send a request for the channel lineup, don't miss a game while on vacation.


So, there you go, I've Danny Amendolaed up for Week 1, don't expect too much more for the next 6 - 7 weeks.

As always, Jake Delhomme's Career Rushing Yards.


Chairman